


Give a reason to be a woman.

by SummerGilmore



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, F/M, OC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:27:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27747484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerGilmore/pseuds/SummerGilmore
Summary: Riza goes out to dinner with her grandfather and they end up talking about her relationship with Mustang. And there is a meeting that may change everything.
Relationships: Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Give a reason to be a woman.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to say it again, forgive my English! I want to thank everyone who writes these amazing fics royai who have encouraged me to write.  
> I was inspired by the Portishead Glory Box song, listen to it after reading!

In a fancy restaurant, Riza is eating with her grandfather, who dressed up with a wig and hat to avoid being discovered. Riza was wearing beige pants and a blue blouse with small polka dots. Whenever he could Grumman would sneak out to Central to spend a day with his granddaughter.  
"Someday I wish we could go out as a normal grandfather and granddaughter, without so much disguise."  
But it would be boring. Hee hee. I am not like any grandfather. " While cutting one of the last pieces of fish, he asks his granddaughter "How is everything at work?"  
“As always, a lot of paperwork, the colonel lounging around. There is a goal to meet and the road is long. "  
“Well, I already know about your work, I saw that Hayate is fine and I know about Rebecca. Something else in your life? "  
"After work I don't have much social life left." Riza finishes her plate, and there is a hint of sadness on her face.  
"Is there no boyfriend or friend with rights?"  
"No Grandpa, it's not that easy."  
"Why not? It's simple two people like each other, they confess it and that's it. "  
“It is not so. First, I am quite demanding in terms of my tastes, I do not like any man. And then not just any man holds my job. Spending 10 hours surrounded by men, and especially being with the flame alchemist all the time. Be behind his every need, pick him up from a bar when he's drunk. "  
"Jealous men."  
“Exactly, and I don't need one next to it. Besides, I would like someone who understands me about Ishval. You grandfather were in a war, you know how difficult it is. Someone who understands the fact that there are nights that I can't sleep because of nightmares, or feelings of guilt. Someone who doesn't ask me or be curious to know the gruesome details. There are only 3 people who understand me”  
Armstrong, Hughes and Mustang. And One is dead. "  
"Exactly, with them on certain dates a glance is enough." Grab her glass to see if her drink helps her get this feeling off her body.  
"So why don't you give Mustang a chance?" Riza's eyes widen. Grumman laughs at his reaction, he knows he hit the mark and continues “He understands you about the war, they spend 10 hours a day together, he would not be jealous of himself. It seems to meet your list of demands”.  
“Grandfather, you more than anyone should know why you can't. We also have a goal to meet, we cannot jeopardize it. "  
“You know what the best is pretty, your excuses are military laws, a future goal. But you never told me you don't love him. " He has that satisfied face that says checkmate.  
Riza snorts "Always having dinner with you is like having a session with a psychoanalyst" and they both laugh.  
“Seriously Riza, you are a disciplined soldier known for your skills. You are a great friend and loving granddaughter, but don't forget that you are also a woman. You are a young, beautiful woman, with many qualities that would make any man happy. You will surely be a great mother, a great wife, and a warm lover. ”She blushes at the last part. “Don't be ashamed of it. Nor wanting to feel like a woman. And I know who is a great man for you "  
"Grandfather" Riza warns him with her tone, hoping that her grandfather did not continue with the topic.  
“I not only believe that he is the most suitable man to be the future leader of the country to which I dedicated my life. I also see him as the best man to be next to my only living relative. I know Mustang will protect you and make you happy, as it has already protected you. And you would be a great first lady. Hee hee”  
"It seems you have everything planned"  
“You can't get to my position without looking to the future enough. “He gestures to the waiter to ask for the bill. "Well, what do you think if we go for an ice cream now."  
"Grandpa, it's already late."  
"You owe me for giving you such wonderful advice."  
She smiles, she is really considering everything her grandfather told her. If you found a legal hole in your problem, or could be incognito, would it be such a bad idea to try?  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roy holds her with his left arm, while with the deft fingers of his other hand he caresses and plays with the inner side of her thigh. He teases her and her reactions make her understand that her games are working.  
"Is this how you plan to seduce me and take me to bed?" the beautiful woman who is the center of all his attentions whispers in his ear.  
"Who told you that I want to seduce you?" He puts on his most arrogant smile, without his hands going still.  
"Don't be arrogant with me" and a little gasp comes from his red lips, he is torturing her and ignoring if there are prying eyes on them.  
He raises his head to answer him and in front of him he sees a blonde and an older man that he recognizes very well. All the heat that began to invade his body leaves him and he feels as if a cold wind is hitting him.  
The red-haired woman sees the change in attitude "Who is she?"  
"She is my subordinate" his mouth remains open, still unable to react.  
“Ugh the army is not the place for a woman. She must be macho and very boring”Abigail insists.  
Roy abruptly turns to her. “Don't ever talk about her like that again. You do not know her." When he looks forward again Riza was gone and Grumman seems ready to start a chat. He wanted the biggest hole in existence to swallow him up, he wanted his lieutenant not to have seen this. He wanted to kick himself for hurting her.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Riza freezes in front of her colonel's vision of that stunning redhead. And to improve his luck, his grandfather witnessed the scene, after that suggestive talk. His chest shrinks. She knows that every many months he has real dates (not like the fake ones with his sisters in search of information). She knows that he is not hers (she never thinks anyone can be property). And many years have passed since they have had a romantic relationship. But nothing prevents the pain you are feeling. You need to get out for air, you are having trouble breathing.  
Once on the street, impulsivity invades her, she picks up her phone and dials Paul's number. He was a man who had flirted with her for months. "Hello, are you at home?" direct, did not want to waste time in useless talk, did not want to think about anything. "In 20 minutes I'm there." Hanging up, he feels his grandfather's footsteps and tries to maintain his composure. “I am looking for a taxi. I'll drop you off at the hotel first. " She doesn't look at him, she's afraid his face will give her away.  
"Honey, are you okay?"  
She turns around and puts a finger near his face. "I do not want to talk now". They find a taxi and get on. The journey passes in silence, there are not many words to add. Finally she is in front of Paul's house, knocks and he quickly opens the door.  
"Hi Riza, I was really surprised by your call ... for the better"  
She comes in and kisses him, there is no passion, only urgency. She grabs it by his shirt and starts feeling her way to his belt. He walks away from her with narrowed eyes. "You're good?"  
She begins to unbutton his pants "I don't want to talk, I don't want to think, I just want to feel." Quickly lower his pants along with his boxers. "Do you have a condom?" Determined not to wait or speak any more than is absolutely necessary. He reaches down and takes one out of his pants pocket. She takes off her pants along with her panties. She never takes off her blouse, she knows how dangerous it would be to show her back to another man other than the colonel. Paul puts on a condom and tries to get her to bed. "Here is better" suggests Riza staying in the dining room, she doesn't want anything romantic, there is no love in this, only the desire to feel something other than pain.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Abigail is naked on her back and Roy on her, it is his way of fooling himself, his way of not seeing her face and being able to put the face of his lieutenant. You want the skin under her to be Riza's creamy white skin. That the hips hers pushed against were hers. Let the moans they heard be from the blonde who took over his heart. It was his way of pretending that this way he could satisfy his wishes, that this could be a hole in the military laws. His imagination runs so deep that his thrusts begin to become more vertiginous and his lips escape "Riza ... I love you" the last 3 words sound like a growl. Seeing his lieutenant produced a much greater effect than he could imagine and was not aware of it.  
The woman below him walks away and turns, looking for the sheet to cover herself with an angry face. "Riza?"  
Roy looks at her in surprise, unaware of what she had said. "I told you not to talk about her anymore," he growls.  
"You named her" he remains silent, finally realizing that not only did he think it, but he said it aloud. "Are you thinking of another woman while you fuck me?"  
"I'm sorry. I should go ”he starts looking for his clothes.  
She tries to cover herself more, her anger does not calm. “Don't you ever call me again. The flame alchemist that so many women praise is in love with a little soldier ”. The palpable mockery.  
Roy rushes to change and leave. Once on the street he grabs his head. Everything got out of hand. He didn't expect his heart to betray him like this, revealing his secret. Feel like you won't stop making mistakes tonight. You have to try to remedy this. You have to calm your heart and mind. His aunt hadn't raised him like that, she had raised him to be a gentleman. And it didn't feel like one.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
When Paul comes he lets out a gasp and when the spasms of his orgasm pass he gently withdraws from Riza's body. He rests his forehead against hers and caresses her cheeks, that forces her to look at him. He goes to the bathroom and she begins to feel empty, as before entering the apartment. Memories of the colonel and the beautiful redhead begin to fill her mind and pain fills her again. She starts looking for her pants and panties and falls for what she did. Once changed, she lifts her head and sees Paul with a smile on his face and that hits her. Understand how selfish it was to go there. She didn't want Paul, wanted not to feel what she felt for Roy. She hadn't thought about Paul's feelings, or the illusions their meeting might provoke in him. She was not that type of woman, she did not play with the feelings of any man, of any person in fact. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here. "  
There is confusion on Paul's face "Did I do something wrong?"  
"you do not. I did not come for the right reasons. I should have gone to sleep. It's not your fault. I hope you don't hate me. " Grab her bag.  
“Riza I don't hate you. I see that there is something that is disturbing you. If you ever need to talk about your problem. I don't want to get involved, but you don't seem like the person who has someone with whom she can talk about what is really happening to her without being judged. "  
"You're very good, so I really wish you didn't hate me for today." He kisses her on the cheek when she's at the door.  
"See you later" dismisses her.  
On the way home, her thoughts torture her. Her selfishness in her actions towards Paul, he was a good man and he didn't deserve her to act this way. And also the possibility that Roy has fallen in love with that woman. That thought was not crazy, because he had not named her, he always talks about his dates, even if they were false, and he had kept the redhead a secret. Perhaps it was so that she did not suffer, something that was inevitable. For Riza, if there is one person in the world who deserves to be happy, it is Roy Mustang. She knows his deepest desires, and in them is to be the Fuhrer of Amestris and bring change and justice. And even if he doesn't admit it, among his hopes is to start a family, and she knows he would make a wonderful father and husband. But she cannot give it to him, she chose to support him in his best known wish, giving up her happiness for that of a whole people. Hopefully she makes him happy, he deserves it. So why does your happiness cause you so much pain? Why are your feelings so selfish? He knows that if so, she will have to accept it, and to the box that keeps her feelings for Roy, she will have to put more locks, make sure it is never opened. She must protect him and keep him on the right path, she cannot be the one who led him astray.  
As she approaches her building, she sees a man with black hair sitting that she recognizes, and that paralyzes her. Roy has a different demeanor than the charming one he always offers. When he sees that she arrives, his gaze transmits "I love you", that contemplation that melts her. And this hits her, she realizes that they share feelings. Whatever happened to that woman, she is here, sorry like her. They never said it out loud, but they know it, and it eats away at them. But what can they do? Perhaps it is a divine punishment for the horrors they both committed on Ishval.  
She decides to move forward with tears threatening to escape if he says a single word to her. "We should talk about this sometime," Roy snaps, looking up as she walks past him.  
She clenches her fists like that can hold her together, she can't break now. “We should do it when we are able to act accordingly. Once we say it out loud we can't pretend nothing happened. "  
"Continue pretending that we do not feel what we feel, and in private to think what solution we can find" he answers sadly.  
He sighs to calm down "You should go to sleep Colonel, tomorrow we have a lot of work to do" an attempt at a smile is outlined on his lips.  
"Rest, Lieutenant. Although it may not seem like going to the office is the best time of my day, it is reassuring to have her around. “He starts walking towards his car.  
They both go to sleep with bittersweet feelings. As much as they know that love is mutual, there is much that separates them. And they do not stop thinking what escape, what legal hole they can find.


End file.
